Stop Finding Yourself

Have you ever said I need to find myself? Or do you ever feel lost? Like you don’t know who you are or what you’re supposed to do with your life? You’re not alone. A lot of people go through this phase. However, the word “find” is ambiguous. We say we’re going to find ourselves, but what comes next? A few mumbled things about meditation, taking a walk, or having self-care when in reality, you don’t have any idea where to start.


Then, what does finding oneself mean? This is a question that many people have asked; some say it’s when you find your passion in life, while others believe it is when you discover who you truly are. We throw these phrases around because it’s begun to become socially acceptable. However,instead, you must assess yourself. If you’re finding yourself, is it usually said with intention and direction? Or is it usually a canned response to some unpleasant experience in your life? The truth is, you’re not lost; you never were. So instead of using the word finding yourself, try to replace it with creating yourself. Once you replace the word find with the word create, you regain control and clarity by taking actionable steps toward who you want to be instead of waiting for something outside of yourself to permit you or make things better. 


Every day we wake up, we’re slightly different than the day before. We’re a blank slate, and we can start creating the person we want to become. Although most of us feel that the events from our past have impacted who we are today, that’s correct. We subconsciously weave the events from our past into stories that form our identity. But our goal isn’t to find the stories. We need to understand how the stories impact us today and rewrite them to help us feel empowered rather than diminished. If you’re feeling held back by your past, it’s time to rewrite your story. You are not your mistakes, and you are not the bad things that have happened to you. You are the sum of your experiences, both good and bad. So start telling yourself a new story—a story in which you are capable of anything and everything. The past does not define us; we define our past.  Hence, we all search for something that will make us happy and fill the emptiness. Some people believe that thing is finding themselves. Self-discovery is essential, but it’s only part of the equation. 


In our search for ourselves, we can often become quite lost. We look to others for validation and spend countless hours finding that one thing that makes us complete. However, keep in mind that comparison is a thief of joy. So what comes after self-discovery? Creating yourself. You’re never going to find yourself if you don’t begin creating yourself; so it’s time to stop looking and start living. When you take control and carve out your own path with a purpose, you will continue to learn and evolve as the person you want to become. 


Discomforts Lead to Change

Often, the discomforts in our lives lead to the change we need. This can be true for both small and large changes. Change can be scary, but it’s also exciting, and embracing discomfort is one of the best ways to remind ourselves why we’re striving for something better. Discomforts can lead us down new paths and help us find out what we’re capable of. 

Lori McCain also had a similar experience. She used to be a runner, but she eventually stopped and didn’t continue. Lori had a roommate that was a CrossFitter, and it was the first time that she had heard about it. However, as most people think when they hear CrossFit, there’s a stigma that it is super intense, that one should be really in good shape and that it is intimidating. Hence, it took Lori three years before she finally decided to join CrossFit. Lori joined to become physically fit, but the biggest catalyst that pushed her, even more, to check out CrossFit was her mental health. 

Being part of CrossFit Southpaw greatly impacted Lori’s life as it was merely different from when she was running. As Lori’s a people person, running felt boring on her part. The community of CrossFit has been a huge aspect of keeping her motivated and inspired to keep going. She also likes the variety of programs and workouts in CrossFit, as Lori got bored quickly with exercises in general. She likes how there’s always something new and exciting to do in the next workout or how to push herself differently. Hence, she decided to get involved in powerlifting and Olympic lifting.

Lori learned and realized some life lessons through CrossFit Southpaw. Learning not to be too hard on herself is a particularly challenging phase for her. She needs to remind herself that what’s happening in her life is a huge learning curve, and she should give it time and not overdo things. Another thing that she learned is not to put her story on to other people’s stories; having the modifications in weights, she realized that she needs to work her way up until she can do heavier weights and do more reps. Reminding herself that it is still progress and celebrating the small wins was a huge thing that has kept her going.

Overall, working out has become a healthy stress release for Lori as it clears her head, and being part of the CrossFit Southpaw community really improves her mindset. She developed more connections and relationships with others, learned how to have her “me time,” reflect after the day, and learned to assess what’s in her control. 

We all go through rough patches in life—times when everything feels like it’s stacked against us and we can’t catch a break. When faced with these difficulties, it’s natural to feel discomfort. While these discomforts may be challenging to deal with, they’re also what can motivate us to make a change. Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of courage to explore what lies ahead.

Building Structure and Accountability

Andrew Huber, 30yrs old, works as a route transportation salesperson. Before embarking on the CrossFit journey, Andrew was inspired by a friend who works out; it was through him that he decided to break his unhealthy habits and began doing some online activities at home. Realizing that he lacked the accountability and structure required, he decided to dive right in and start doing some home workout stuff and changing his diet.


Andrew’s journey has not been easy. There were times in his life when where everything was grey and monotonous. But his thought was – if others could make a change, why couldn’t he? He could not allow lame excuses to hinder his goal to fitness. He simply needed to manage his time more effectively. It’s moments and thoughts like these that became breakthroughs. He has become more determined in life as a result of those previous setbacks. It has become his life’s great teacher, helped build his confidence, and enabled him to get the most out of life.


When he joined SouthPaw, working out took him to a new level, both physically and mentally. It has shifted his mindset, making him more mindful and giving 100% in everything he does. It may have been intimidating because it was entirely new for him, but it positively influenced his life! 


Andrew feels better almost every day, most especially outside of the gym. He cultivated a positive mindset, which aided him in his journey to make a lifestyle change. He believes that working out allows him to do things that he cannot normally do. He just needs to sustain what he is doing right now, a healthy living habit- meeting his needs without jeopardizing his future. Hence, structure and accountability are important for making lasting changes in our lives. Creating a routine provides us with the stability needed to stay on track by creating a routine. And by having someone or something else to answer to, we increase the chances that we will follow through with our goals. These two principles can be applied to our personal lives and our professional ones. 


We may be having difficulty motivating ourselves to get up every day and do better. Most of the time, we even doubt ourselves. However, doing things that help us improve, such as joining CrossFit, is a start. We simply need to be determined and persistent to achieve our specific goals. It will be exciting to see how our lives will change dramatically if we can keep doing what we are doing to achieve our goals. So keep going and don’t let anything get in your way.

Continuing To Make Progress

After you have been working out for a while (for many of us, years), it can be tough to continue make progress. This often leads to feelings of discouragement and can bring our training to a halt. Plateaus, burnout, and disillusionment. Veteran Southpaw member, Rim, has been there. She has also persevered through. 


Rim has been active and working out since her mid-20s, which continued until she gave birth to her son. As her son got older, Rim lost her motivation to workout. 


Shortly afterwards, she began having anxiety: her eyes started twitching and she was experiencing heart palpitations. Since she didn’t want to take medications, her doctor suggested that start an exercise program to help combat the anxiety. 


That’s when she found CrossFit. At first Rim was hesitant because, like many others, she thought that CrossFit was scary. However, since Rim had done bootcamps before, she decided to try it out.


She fell in love with CrossFit right away because it was different from anything she had tried before. It was a humbling experience – there was always a challenge. However, she realized that no matter what your fitness level was, there was always a way to push yourself – to continue to grow. This allowed her to set different types of goals for herself. Setting goals is one of the keys to success as it helps you stay focused along the way. 


Rim recalls that her experience with bootcamps was quite different from her experience with CrossFit. She went to the same bootcamp class for four years and had the same instructor, yet her instructor didn’t even know her name; at CrossFit the coach and other members knew her name after day one. Rim also liked that CrossFit offered the opportunity to build on your strengths and attack your weaknesses. 


Rim didn’t consider herself a morning person but she quickly began working out in the morning because of the close friends she made at the CrossFit gym. This is one of the many reasons it’s important to have a good workout community a supportive group of people who will encourage you and help keep you accountable. 


Although she liked the workout at boot camps, Rim found that they began to be repetitive and she didn’t push herself the way that she did at CrossFit. She also likes the workout tracking software (like this one that we use at Southpaw) because it allows her to measure progress.


Rim insists that having a good coach will set you up for success. She would encourage you to find someone who helps you build awareness of your body and who encourages you to balance work and rest so that you don’t overtrain.


Rim also realized that being a perfectionist is a double-edged sword. However, if you can learn to harness perfectionism correctly it can become your superpower. 


To continue making progress in your fitness journey, you need to figure out what type of support network & workout methodologies help you thrive. For some, that may be running alone with headphones in. For many, however, it’s an encouraging community, professional coaches, and exciting workout routines.


If you would like to learn more and set up a time to chat with one of our coaches, visit to schedule your Free Consultation today!