Stop Finding Yourself

Have you ever said I need to find myself? Or do you ever feel lost? Like you don’t know who you are or what you’re supposed to do with your life? You’re not alone. A lot of people go through this phase. However, the word “find” is ambiguous. We say we’re going to find ourselves, but what comes next? A few mumbled things about meditation, taking a walk, or having self-care when in reality, you don’t have any idea where to start.

 

Then, what does finding oneself mean? This is a question that many people have asked; some say it’s when you find your passion in life, while others believe it is when you discover who you truly are. We throw these phrases around because it’s begun to become socially acceptable. However,instead, you must assess yourself. If you’re finding yourself, is it usually said with intention and direction? Or is it usually a canned response to some unpleasant experience in your life? The truth is, you’re not lost; you never were. So instead of using the word finding yourself, try to replace it with creating yourself. Once you replace the word find with the word create, you regain control and clarity by taking actionable steps toward who you want to be instead of waiting for something outside of yourself to permit you or make things better. 

 

Every day we wake up, we’re slightly different than the day before. We’re a blank slate, and we can start creating the person we want to become. Although most of us feel that the events from our past have impacted who we are today, that’s correct. We subconsciously weave the events from our past into stories that form our identity. But our goal isn’t to find the stories. We need to understand how the stories impact us today and rewrite them to help us feel empowered rather than diminished. If you’re feeling held back by your past, it’s time to rewrite your story. You are not your mistakes, and you are not the bad things that have happened to you. You are the sum of your experiences, both good and bad. So start telling yourself a new story—a story in which you are capable of anything and everything. The past does not define us; we define our past.  Hence, we all search for something that will make us happy and fill the emptiness. Some people believe that thing is finding themselves. Self-discovery is essential, but it’s only part of the equation. 

 

In our search for ourselves, we can often become quite lost. We look to others for validation and spend countless hours finding that one thing that makes us complete. However, keep in mind that comparison is a thief of joy. So what comes after self-discovery? Creating yourself. You’re never going to find yourself if you don’t begin creating yourself; so it’s time to stop looking and start living. When you take control and carve out your own path with a purpose, you will continue to learn and evolve as the person you want to become. 

 

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